With this and that we made it to December!!
*rounds of applause for obvious reasons*
And with December, Xmas is just around the corner. Actually I feel like we’ve already passed the corner and it’s staring us right in the face. This is also how most of my clients feel. And me. Like Xmas came “too soon”. Do you feel the same?
Meanwhile, Xmas is (supposedly) a festive time of the year, where everyone is jolly, happy to be with their families, exchanging presents, tasting the juiciest food and indulging (rightfully so) in a variety of beverages, alcoholic or otherwise. Now, that’s all nice and well, expect it isn’t always like that. Things don’t always go down smoothly, preparing a Xmas event can be very taxing, buying presents is a huge issue in terms of time and money, family gatherings are often not pleasant and… all in all Xmas is stressful.
There, I said it for you. I know you are thinking of it too, even though you may not fully agree with me on all the aforementioned examples. Or perhaps you have more to add to my list. Perhaps you may – flat out – not like Xmas. Why? Just because. Not everything needs to have a reason.
I believe it’s actually a taboo to talk about Xmas negatively. It’s like there is this huge invisible blanket of socially-approved happiness and everything that doesn’t fit the picture bounces right off. There is a strong societal expectation to “just be merry & grateful” during the Xmas period and so there is literally no space for anything else to be voiced. Like we have to put a Joker-like smile on our faces regardless whether it’s genuine or forced.
During this month I met quite a few people that deeply dislike Xmas and the songs that go with it. I had sessions with clients that felt extremely pressurised to organise and show up for dinners and events that really don’t fill them with joy. While speaking to people I felt their frustration and exhaustion during this time of the year, and especially this year that marks the second year in a row that covid is around and regulations change in the blink of an eye. Some people still experience mixed feelings about socializing in larger groups. Their sense of safety is threatened. Yet what I realised across the board is that none of these people felt it was ok to:
· Feel that way in the first place
· Express their feelings
· Decline invitations
· Be themselves
All of this made me extremely upset because, in essence, all those people felt they could not speak their truth! They felt guilty about not getting in line with the festive vibe. How very sad is that??
So, this last blog post of 2021 goes out to them. This blog post is about saying “Xmas is not my jam and that’s ok!” If you are reading this and you can see yourself in what I just described even by a little bit, please do me a favour and exhale…! Allow yourself to breathe in relief…
It is totally fine if you:
· Don’t like Xmas.
· Feel exhausted every year during this time, but let alone in 2021.
· Have low reserves of patience or willingness to buy presents, go to Xmas parties or do anything at all.
· Want to refrain from some or all celebrations.
· Want to avoid shopping malls.
· The thought of turkey or eggnog makes you want to vomit.
· The thought of getting together with your family (extended or not) gives you the hives.
· Would rather spend Xmas stroking your cat!
· Want to treat Xmas day like an another regular day (because guess what – it is!!).
· Don’t want to decorate your house Xmas-y.
· [space to add your own stuff here].
There are also those of us that have traumatic memories attached to Xmas so they get triggered every year. I don’t want to go into much detail about this because it’s a sensitive and very personal subject, but for me it highlights one thing and one thing only:
The need to be compassionate and honest around our own desires and needs.
In a way, one could say this is very much in line with the Xmas spirit. Love, compassion, understanding, acceptance, respect. It’s the essence of being human. The world could use more of these at any given time of the year, so why not start this Xmas?
Why not start with yourself?
Merry Xmas, Love & Healing Energy
Pam xx
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